We could all take lessons in polemic from this guy.
Paul Heyman for Motivational Speaker
Paul Heyman for Poet Laureate
Paul Heyman for President!
I went to Wrestlemania you guys! These are some things that happened:
-So I bought my ticket super late because I wasn’t sure if I wanted to go because 1) I haven’t been a fan of the last few Wrestlemanias as a whole and 2) The rumored card looked pretty bad. This of course changed recently when with a “Daniel Bryan is wrestling for two hours!” focus. My tickets said limited view but if you can’t tell by the picture above it should have said “limited view of everything being perfectly awesome”.
-I was in full mark out mode when Austin’s music hit, and again when The Rock’s hit. Though I hate “Action Movie Star who tells Poo Poo jokes” Rock I loved him as a kid, and seeing him along with Hogan and Austin gave me all the wrestling feels. Thank god they didn’t take their shirts off and start wrestling.
- I had to run to the bathroom so I had no idea Trips vs. Daniel Bryan was the first match until I came back and saw Stephanie in the ring. Then I saw Triple H come out with the Castle Grayskull set wearing a golden crown/ skull mask and I just pointed and said “Fuck this guy” to my friend.
- The match was great though. I rewatched it earlier today and caught how completely evil Stephanie was being. She did a great job of just constantly insulting Bryan and putting over her husband. And I can’t think of a straight up Triple H wrestling match that I loved so much.
- There was (I’m guessing) a dad of these two kids wearing Daniel Bryan shirts, that was just trolling them the whole time, cheering for Triple H, Bray Wyatt, and Brock Lesnar, yelling things like “You bought the wrong shirt son” and “All good things must come to an end!” It would have been annoying if he wasn’t so super smug and funny about it.
-When it came down to Big Show and Cesaro being the last two men in the Battle Royal, I immediately stood up and said “Holy shit it’s down to Cesaro and Big Show!” I fucking love Cesaro and I’m already fantasy booking him vs, Daniel Bryan in a Iron Man Match for Wrestlemania 31.
- I thought it felt a little out of place to have a live band play Bray Wyatt out but he has the best entrance theme and it was made by a member of Jesus and the Mary Chain so I can’t complain too much.
- After the third F-5, I just become so use to the Undertaker kicking out of finishers that if I was sitting closer to the ring, my face would’ve probably been part of that scan of shocked faces that the camera went to. Some people were in pure denial mode saying he kicked out. Others thought it was a mistake. And I’m pretty sure a few people left.
-It’s weird to say the streak was a thing people we’re totally invested in but it was. Personally I’m glad it’s over. Watching that match was dreadful and was made even worse since I watched CM Punk’s match from last year before hand. And you could tell Taker was out of it. After the the second submission hold I had checked out and was waiting for it to end. Should he have lost to someone that wasn’t a part timer? Yeah, but I’m glad future Wrestlemania’s won’t be about who’s Taker facing and can now focus on current guys.
-And hopefully that continues. Bryan’s win feels like years of fan frustration exploding in one epic moment and having Batista tapout adds icing on the cake. Seeing Bryan legit tear up made it all worth while.
Sooooo I decided to buy tickets to Wrestlemania, because it really didn’t make sense for me not to go to the Wrestlemania, in my hometown with my favorite wrestler most likely having too main event matches in. Plus I found some pretty good tickets for a decent price, so tomorrow should be a very interesting day for me.
Modern WWE history is divided into eras. The Attitude Era began with the Montreal Screwjob in 1997 and ended with the WWF’s acquisition of WCW in 2001. The Reality Era began when CM Punk dropped a pipe bomb on John Cena in 2011 and has endured to this day.
What do we call the decade in between?
I nominate the Apathy Era.
I think according to WWE own revisionist history, the John Cena/Batista/Randy Orton era is the Ruthless Agression Era and we were currently in the Universe Era until Trips made the Reality Era “official” last week. But I’m down with Apathy Era.